She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
