Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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