I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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