Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize