my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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