Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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