is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
