She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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