On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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