He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Randomize
