I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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