I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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