I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize