my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
