Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
