so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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