dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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