Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
They took my balls.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
