So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
