burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
be right there i have to get my cape
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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