Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
