I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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