News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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