It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize