we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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