Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
