I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
