My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Please, let me fuck your mom
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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