hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize