there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
