420 ftw
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
