Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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