Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
