So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
