U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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