Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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