If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
