I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
