Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize