Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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