Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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