Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
