i just google imaged poop.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
