Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
