Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
