so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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