she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Randomize
