just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
