I feel great
I just peed on a car
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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