i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
