don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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