I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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