Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
