Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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