You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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