I want to walk on stilts...naked
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
