A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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