Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
