i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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