dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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