i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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