I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
