Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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