she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
