my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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