I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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