There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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