R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
